Enjoy!
This is how business is done!
Jack, a smart
businessman, talks to his son...
Jack: I want you to marry
a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride".
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case..."
Next Jack approaches Bill
Gates...
Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the
world Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case..."
Finally Jack goes to see
the president of the World
Bank...
Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a
Vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents
than I need."
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case....."
This is how business is
done.
Recruitment
The story of our
lives....
You will love it ..read through every bit pls ....
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human
Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul
arrived up in
heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter
himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough,we've never once had
a Human
Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to
do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one
you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven",
said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the
executive in
an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting
green of a beautiful golf course.In the distance was a country club and
standing
in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had
worked with and
they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up
and kissed
her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an
excellent round
of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent
steak and
lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind
of
cute)and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having
such a good
time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her
hand and waved
goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and
found St.Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven,"
he
said. So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing
the harp
and singing.
She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St.Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now
you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then
replied,
"Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great
and
all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went
down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she
found herself
standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her
friends
were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in
sacks. The
Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced
and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look
miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
" Yesterday we were recruiting, today you're an Employee. "
This is Confidence!
A hypothetical
situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight
that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless
technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft.Each one of the CEOs is then told,
privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic
pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each
offering a different type of excuse.
One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.Asked why
he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it's the
same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take
off."
This is called Confidence!
Love and
Marriage
A student asks a
teacher: What is love?
The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field
and choose the biggest paddy and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to
pick.
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but
he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger
one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to
realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he
has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to
the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but
when later you realize, you have already miss the person The student asked:
What is marriage then?
The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and
choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to
pick.
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat
the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked
one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one
that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you
get.... this is marriage.